Compassionate Connections

by Donna Nichter

(Published in LightBridges Magazine - 7/09)

Gandhi said “happiness is when what we think, what we say and what we do are in harmony”. The practice of Compassionate Communication has strengthened the connection between what I truly value and what I think, say and do. I feel an inner peace living in this alignment.

Compassionate Communication is a way to create a quality of relationship where everyone’s needs matter, making it more likely that our needs are actually met. Based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org), it is a practical process framed within a consciousness of the intention to connect in the present moment. Compassionate Communication gives a simple, powerful way to consciously connect with ourselves, one another and the divine energy that flows thru all of us. It helps us to become present - to ourselves, one another and that which connects us, so that stories fall away and essence remains. It helps us to embrace that part of ourselves and one another that is sometimes difficult to acknowledge ~ to transform judgments to more life giving understandings. It helps us to see with a clarity and objectivity that separates interpretations from what is actually happening. It helps us to connect with what’s alive in you and me, that which what yearns to be lived thru us. And, it helps us to move beyond ~ to celebrate that which brings fulfillment, mourn that which is unfulfilled and to take action toward what we believe will make life even more wonderful.

Is Compassionate Communication the end and be all? Probably not. Is it new? No, the ideas have been around for thousands of years and while many disciplines advocate values such as being present, compassion and non-judgment, Compassionate Communication actually shows us how! It is the single, most effective process I have found that provides a touchstone that can be returned to again and again. It is the practicality of Compassionate Communication that supports living life with integrity. Do I always? I wish I could say “absolutely.” What I will say, is that I delightfully find myself living it more and more as I practice and endeavor to live in alignment with the principles and am grateful for the deepening I continue to experience.

Compassionate Connections Practice ~ Although not necessarily a “Compassionate Communication” principle, I have found the basics of any connection begins with breath.

 Throughout the day, I invite you to become aware of your breath ~ the connector of body, mind and spirit. Let your breath become slower, deeper and quieter. Use a reminder such as every time the phone rings, each red light or set a timer for every hour. I have cards that say “Breathe” that I post at strategic places ~ Visit “contact me” at my site and I’d be glad to share some with you!

I hope you will enjoy more Compassionate Connections in the coming months, as I share principles, stories and practices that can make a difference in your life and radiate out to every life you touch.